In the days that have led up to now, I have pretty much been on my poor knees in solitude in the master bath. That fact alone has allowed some time to ponder....you know when you get in that mode where you have to think but only elementary thoughts are necessary for the task at hand so then the other 95% of your brain just runs wide open? Or is that just me? Anyway, I've been thinking alot about how bad I'm aching and how bad my knees hurt but one thing that has been on my mind the most is Reese and Kim.
I told Kim last night that sometimes I just have to look at Reese and remind myself that she is our baby girl. She gets to stay all the time and we get to see her grow and experience her little moods and learn about her personality. I was thinking the other afternoon about how many times someone told Kim and I....just wait....EVERYTHING changes.
We've all been there...at some point in your marriage there was a couple - be it friends or family - that you knew and they had a child and they shared the "just wait" stories. Some were funny, some were horrible, and some were just down right scary. "Life changes" and "your life is not your own anymore".....we heard those as well. Sometimes the parents would almost make life with a little one seem simply unbearable and you could almost hear a tinge of regret in their voice.....Not always, but sometimes. Sure, there were a few that managed to tell you the amazing aspects but just like the evening news, the bad always seemed to out weigh the good.
Maybe that's why Kim and I waited for so long...We'll be married 14 years on October 21st and we didn't have Reese until a little more than six months ago. You can imagine the amount of "just wait" stories that we've heard. We've never been rude to anyone when they shared horror stories and for the most part we were genuinely interested in the "just wait" story but after a while it became sort of sad. Were the parents not on the same wavelength? Did they have communication issues to begin with? What did they expect parenthood to be? This isn't like adopting a dog. Maybe the issue that they are dealing with in their little one is really a mirror image of their own personal issues? I don't know....I'm just saying...but almost every "just wait" story had that negative hook no matter who told it.
Kim and I were talking the other night and the consensus from our end is that God has just blessed us with a fantastic little girl. She is perfectly matched to us....Made by God just especially for Kim and I. She shares traits from each of us and is a perfect mix of fun, cute, and cuddly. She loves to sleep close to us, she loves to be held, she loves kisses, she loves bath time, she even loves to have her ears cleaned after baths....I imagine that a lot of kids squirm like crazy when something touches their ears. She loves to eat, she loves to take walks, she fights naps unless the vacuum is running and then she'll nark out, she has not shown a temper yet......I could go on, and on.
But, at nearly seven months we STILL hear the "just waits". Just wait until she starts walking, just wait until she starts talking, just wait until she starts throwing fits, just wait until this....that....the other.....blah blah blah.
Truth is we can't wait. Time is flying like it was shot from a cannon and Reese is changing everyday. We can't wait until more and more of her personality is visible...until she is walking and talking and getting into everything. We can't wait until she is stumbling around the house and driving us up the wall because she's bored. I wish we could turn time to slow for a while and keep these days for longer but "we can't wait" for what is next. I dare say that you will not hear Kim and I explain to a potential parent the "just waits" in a negative term. It absolutely changes your life.....DUH. It absolutely changes your schedule.....wh-wh-what! And you are absolutely correct in that NOTHING comes in front of Kim and Reese now. NOTHING. My priorities are changed. Kim's priorities are changed.....Der!
I mean yes...its tough work raising a child but seriously...is that a shock? If you didn't expect that, then you probably should have waited a little longer to have kids. We expected it....Hell, we embraced it....and sure, it has been tough and it has been much different that sitting around without her. But what fun would it be if it were too easy? I think that changing up your world like this makes life that much more rewarding. I mean for some folks, its about world travel or going off to Africa to help save elephants or whatever....Some people can change jobs and move across the country without a whim...that gets their blood pumping. Its a change and change can be tough. But with a child....that change is proving to be the most rewarding thing in the world for us.
Yeah, all that time on the floor of the bathroom has given me some perspective. We've been blessed with a phenomenal little girl.....and I "can't wait" to see what's next.
"Just wait" until I finish this bathroom.....I'll never start another project like this! (so that was a little negative shout out to all of the nay sayers.)
Friday, October 9, 2009
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1 comment:
Great post Adam. I've heard the same stories for years. & I now know to NEVER tile/remodel a bathroom myself!
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