Time for reflection....

If you're like me and scan the sides of others blogs to see what they find interesting or who they tend to follow you'll notice that I've added a website called Caring Bridge / Shane Richardson. I went to school with Shane Richardson and while he may never recall me or remember me....he was several years older than I in school...I still know his name and recognize his face. Growing up in Calhoun, GA almost guarantees that you'll have some connection with a person if you know that much about them.

Shane's father taught Driver's Ed at our school. He had been around for many years and as best I recall his father taught at Calhoun High School while my Mom and Dad were there - I could be a little off there but suffice it to say in a town as small as Calhoun...you know folks. I happened upon a post from another childhood friend of mine on Facebook tonight and she noted that Shane has cancer and had been sent home for hospice care. I looked at his website and fell numb to the voracity with which an initial cough turned into one thing and then another. October of 2009 to now....and Shane is being sent home for pain management and quality time with his family.



Marinate on that for a minute. Shane is 38 years old. Three years older than me.




We follow another blog here called Lots of Scotts and the lady that writes about her triplets and doctor husband finds that her heart is overwhelmed recently with so much cancer......I too share that feeling. One of my co-workers found last week that his little six year old boy has Leukemia. It is treatable but his son has cancer at six. I read Lots of Scotts and read about her friend Sweeny that is similar in age as Shane and has Stage IV Cancer....Melanoma I believe. Another friend at work...his mother was treated recently and given a good bill of health and now...cancer...its back.

I'm reflecting on this briefly because my little girl turns one on Saturday and this has been the best year of my life. It really has. I don't know if its Reese or if its age but I'm slowly learning that I am not bullet proof. My earthly body is fragile....flawed...weak and unable to sustain itself for long periods on this earth. We're designed to wear out...and move on to greater things. But that calls to question, how worthy am I to move on at this point in my life? I told Kim tonight that if God called me tonight and said, C'mon son...let's go. Who am I to say No God...I want to stay here with my family? But I do. Who am I to say no to Glory and stay on this earth? But I love my wife and little girl and I want to see them grow God....I want to love them up close and not from far away....albeit in Heaven. Is that wrong? Is that backwards? Could I even earn a chance to experience God's grace in heaven or am I just fooling myself?

I want to live many happy years on this earth with my family. I want to see Reese grow and a little brother or sister fall into her footsteps as well. I want to be a proud father and grandfather. I want to protect my wife and show her love all the days that stand beside her. I just want my family to be ok.....

I asked Kim tonight if she ever worries about things being too good sometimes. I mean sure..I could go for some more job security and a little more money. Some flat abs and Honey do list that is small. I'd like to take some good vacations and see a little more of this world that I live on. But what matters most is my family and their health. I love my little family. I want nothing but the best for them. I would sacrifice everything I own to make life easier for Kim and Reese. But reading the words on the journal that Shane's wife writes is like pressing searing metal into my heart....In all honesty Shane is an acquaintance but reading his journal this evening, he became more. I'll be praying for Shane and his family tonight and many nights to come. Please do so if you feel led. Pray for my family and pray for your own. God is listening....And it just feels as if he is working in my life so diligently right now. I have so much to be thankful for and all I do is gripe.

I think I'll change some things in honor of Reese's first year and in honor of the blessings He has given to me.