One step at a time....

Thank God it's ALMOST Friday....The first brutal week is almost over and we're so happy. I hate to say that Kim is doing great but between a few tears here and there, I think she is doing better than I had envisioned. Kim is an incredibly strong woman and sometimes she refuses to accept that. We're both pretty emotional but I probably open up easier in most cases than Kim...those that know me will attest that I'll tell you just about anything that you don't really need to know.

Kim....eh, she might hold back a little more. So I've been staying on her about this week and I'm satisfied that she's doing ok. Time will heal the hurt of being away from Reese during the day but I'm pretty sure Kim will have these feelings until Reese is grown....just maybe not as intense as this week.

We're very appreciative of all the thoughts and prayers that have been sent our way this week and could use some next week as well since that will only be the second week of a tough return.

This afternoon Reesie-Pie tried a little Tummy time and played with Mommy for a bit. Then she slung a rod on Daddy while Kim went to town for a minute.....one of those tired fits but she narked out pretty quickly.

How stinking precious!!

Uh oh....she's pissed.

Work week update...

We made it to hump day and our sanity is still intact....imagine that!

This week has sort of worked in stages -
UNREST --Monday, that morning was horrible. Kim worked from the home office and was sort of able to do so without alot of fanfare and we spent good time with our Reesie-Pie that night.
EASING BACK IN --Tuesday, she went to her regional office and now folks realize that "Oh....Kimmy is back!" so things sort of set in more.
A LITTLE LESS UNREST --Wednesday, yeah this was a hard one too because she's now back at work...folks realize it and Reese is within minutes of the home office. I'm hoping that Thursday and Friday get a little easier for Kim just from the standpoint of that overwhelming feeling with everything changing so fast this week.

Why can't we be independently wealthy? I guess our neighbors are because Kim and I seem like the only dummies leaving the house or staying in a home office to work from 8 to 5. Oh well....

In the meantime, check out the new bibs that we got from Tara Nicole. Her blog has some awesome bibs and we decided to order a few for Pumpkin-Doolittle.

And here is a closing pic of Reese!

What a tough morning....

So today was the day. And um.....Daddy took it pretty hard too. It all started last night when I took the trash out (what a way to tell a story, huh?) I had about five minutes by myself getting things together and just like the day we left the hospital, the emotions came rushing in and my eyes just filled with tears. My little girl was going to somebody else for care during the day. Then the questions and doubt came rushing in....So if I can't provide enough for my family...what kind of father am I? What kind of husband am I that Kim needs to work to make this whole thing float? Talk about a reality check of the worst kind and on Father's day no less.

I came back in and Kim was preparing the day pack for Reese. She packed the bottles and asked me a simple question and I couldn't hide it from her....I broke down. Kim and I cried together and held each other. I apologized for things that she didn't expect an apology for and would never ask for. We put Reese to bed and held each other as we fell asleep. This morning, I woke up and Kim was in a reasonable mood considering the days upcoming events. We got ready and just like prepping for a new job we were both up and done in plenty of time so we waited.....we waited for 8:00am and sort of kicked around until it was time. Kim was heartbroken and so was I....we walked Reese to Krissy's house and they met us at the door. Krissy was gang busters and had such a light and fantastic mood but it just didn't cut through the sadness for us. Kim cried and I started again (I feel like such a boob but Kim says she loves that I'm emotional...I don't know who to thank for that trait.) But Kim and I were observing through the tears that Krissy's kids were being so good to Reese, they've obviously raised three kids and didn't break any of them so why would they break Reese, and there was just a great vibe in the house this morning. It helped...tremendously.

Pics before we took her to "daycare"









You would have thought that Kim and I were giving her up for adoption the way we were carrying on this morning but one my co-workers assured me this morning that this is just the first for many sucky but potentially exciting days for Mommy and Daddy in the life of Reese. 1st day of some kind of different daycare...if Krissy decides this is too much...the 1st day of pre-k, 1st day of school, 1st night at a friend's house, and so on. Her life is filled with 1st's that will challenge us at every angle and we'd might as well embrace them rather than run from them.

BUT ON TOP OF THAT...Kim went back to work too. Talk about a double whammy. She did fine and the world didn't cave in but it almost did. Not really...but this was a good first step and hopefully it will get a little easier day after day.

We pretty much loved on Reese all of this evening and this was one of my favorite nights with my baby girl so far. I guess they are all my favorite nights but this one was so special. Reese's Mommy and Daddy climbed a big mountain this morning and we shared a simple evening with our little Pumpkin-doolittle.

Coming into the home stretch....

I've sort of been avoiding the subject of Kim going back to work for several reasons...

• She/me/we....are super thankful that she even has a job in this recession. Her company and mine have both reorganized and we've both been able to weather the reductions - Thank you Lord.
• I don't like to think about some level of inadequacy that I place on myself by not holding a position or salary that would allow us to accomplish life on one income. (totally self induced)
• Kim is super emotional anyway and thinking about the past nearly three months with Reese and now turning back to a world of deadlines and stress is not a savory thought right now.
• It makes us both sad....duh.
• Its finally summertime....kids are out, teachers are jogging every morning...going to play tennis....or clogging up my midday run to Publix. It just sucks to think about going back - even for me and I've only had off one full week and part of another thanks to sorry rules for Dads in the workplace that don't seem to think dear old Pop needs anytime with his young family.
• And I/we don't want to complain too much because we're no different that every other working family out there....though we do seem to be the minority in our neighborhood. Damn retirees and stay at home Moms.
  

So you see this subject is filled with emotions from thankful, to stressful, to sadness, to some amount of resentment, all mixed together with humor and worry about the unknown. Nice little cocktail of emotions, huh.

I'll be honest in that I didn't see this coming....my stance was if and when we had a child....he/she HAD to go to daycare. Bar none....unless Nan was coming to live with us. (offer would stand if need be). But now with Kim one week from returning to work, I wish I could sweep away all our debt and that we could make it on one income so she could stay home. Not that we're slammed with debt...thank you sweetie. Kim is conservative and I'm a little more liberal with our income. And not that Kim could stay at home full time....she's a workaholic. She likes to work and prides herself on being a good employee and doing a better than expected job....I tell her all the time that she's good enough but I think she likes to prove it.

So what's our plan?

She's working. Hard. We split the chores around here so the house would function once she went back.....NOTE....we've always split them but now my split got a little bigger - no complaints. I won't say who is doing what because it will make for a pretty good series of posts one day. I'll bet you can't wait to read the one when Adam washed the new red shirt with Kim's white one. But it won't happen folks because I'm halfway indoctrinated to wash anyway...blah!

We're saving money. Just because we need to.

We're working on our house. Because it needs some TLC.

We may eventually try to sell once the market recovers and look for that final house to live in here in Towne Lake.....hahahahaha. HOHOHOHOHO. HEHEHEHEHEHE. But no, seriously...we might. Maybe? Because if we're having another one.......we're going to need a bigger house.

JUST CALM DOWN GRANDPARENTS!!!! This is a minimum of two years out but I can't see us raising just Reese...i don't think. What about a little brother named Reed? Carter? My fav Dayton? Come on...she needs a little brother to pick on, right? (Dear God I hope I can take this back if need be.)

So with that thought in mind, we can't stay too depressed about work because we gotta save up some funds for round two of this deal. In all seriousness though....Kim is my hero. She has literally turned into a mother over night and she's excellent at it. She has a new patience and a new love that I've never seen. She is calming for Reese and this baby girl just loves her Mommy to death. She is stronger than she knows and she is more capable than anyone that I know to balance this work/life/baby house of cards. I love everything about her and I'm glad she's my wife. It is going to be SOOOOOOO ok sweetie......Love, me.

Have you ever seen anything so cute?

Damn - let's laugh a little for a change on these posts for a while!?!?! I promise to lighten it up a little once next week passes. Really....I'm ready to cut up again.