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Sunday, February 15, 2009

What an amazing trip....

We're getting close to one month until delivery! One month away from Reese's arrival. One month....separates us from a family of two...to a family of three. One month...separates ME from being on equal footing to being out numbered. One month is all that turns a husband and wife into Mommy and Daddy. That's pretty cool. Kim and I sit and talk alot about what life will be like once she is here and what 13 years of rollercoaster living has taught us. Has it taught us patience? Enough patience to allow the other enough slack in the midst of a screaming baby alarm at 3am? Enough patience to clean the twelfth consecutive diaper without knowing that it was the twelfth? Enough patience to put each other first despite this new life that needs everything first?

What about communication? We've grown in terms of communication like no other couple that we know. From me having to beg Kim to open up....to her pretty much opening up and me sort of looking for a way to plug the "opening up" spigot. (I mean that VERY much tongue in cheek sweetie!) It's sort of neat for us...we can have a conversation without saying so much as one word. We could be listening to someone go on about something and sort of glance at one another, crack a grin, and know that she pretty much thinks that this story is far fetched and she knows that I'm thinking the same thing. We can be in cramped quarters...say like the trains at Hartsfield and she could give me the large eyed-head twitch....which means...Do you smell that? I smirk meaning....Yes! Dear God it stinks!..she drops her brow...meaning WAS THAT YOU!!!!! I also drop my brow and and intensify my face as to say....Good Lord NO! We can do it for nearly everything...besides poopy smells. Of course that will be a vital conversation going forward but poor Reese won't be able to play along. She'll probably just grimace as if to say....Leave me alone, Please. I'm busy. But will we be able to maintain that understanding or even enhance it with the advent of Reese?

Will we be able to parent with common sense or will all common sense fly out of the windows in a tornado of sleep deprivation and busy-ness? Will paci's get the best of us and potty training turn us into blithering idiots? Will the debate of when to answer that cry be too much to handle initially? Is divide and conquor subliminally trained into children's psyche from birth? If I cry REALLY hard and loud....Maybe Mommy will fear that I'm going to pass out and come in to get me.....yeah...let me try that. Will we be able to instill values into this little life that will last forever? Values like treating others with respect....saying please and thank you...Not following the crowd and being influenced by kids that are less than desirable. Will she do as I say...and not as I do? Who am I to kid...I'm no role model for how to do it the right way. I've made more mistakes than I care to admit. I have a temper, an inability to control the string that opens my mouth, and a bad habit of thinking that folks what to hear what I have to say....can I tame that in Reese? But not to the point that she becomes a pushover. Even with us! She's welcome to her own opinion when she can form one....it may just be that Mom and Dad don't particularly care to engage her rights to have it heard when that time comes.

So many thoughts. So many fears. Do you believe that I've already (only slightly) thought about how sad it will be when she moves out for college?! Our neighbors sort of brought that on with them being empty nesters this summer. I can't imagine the weirdness that comes with that now. I was dying to get out from control of my folks...but now I see how hard that could be and she isn't even here yet! We haven't even gotten through the first three months...or weeks and the future is already on our minds. From the three month standpoint we've already been prepped by a number of parents about those ever important first months of life....from hell to even worse has been the standard expectancy. But we think that it is what you make of it. Its only three months. I may read this six months from now and want to choke this idealist that types tonight but it really is just three months. It isn't a death sentence....its just my baby girl needing a good start. My wife needing my support because her hormones are on Defcon 5. Its me just doing everything I know to do because that what I'm supposed to do. Is it really that much to ask of me? Kim? Our parents? (we'll need some help for sure) I can't tell what challenges lay ahead but Kim and I are parents of faith. We're a husband and wife of faith. We pray every day in some form or fashion for someone else or for each other...every day.

God has gotten us this far. So Patience? Got it. And a never ending supply of it from God. Communication? Kim simply winks and nods approvingly. I wink/nod back and knuckle bump her. Ability? More than we probably know. Enough love? My love tank runs over right now....I just hope I fill Kim's with enough to keep her running with the needles pinned. (that means fast)
Can we instill values in Reese? Over time, yes, I believe we will. With our family's help and with a hand from God. Will we make it?.....................you bet.

Having said all of that....I want to wish a Happy Valentines Day to Kim. You deserve far better than I can give you, but you've made it perfectly clear that you love me despite my faults and my hiccups. I will do all I can to be the best father possible to our little girl and the best husband to you as well. I love both of my girls.

3 comments:

Elizabeth Arnold said...

You guys will be amazing parents! We are all praying for the both of you. I can't wait to meet Reese and maybe oneday I can take her to the Georgia games with me! :) I love you both!!

Papa Hall 2.0 said...

Poor Reece!!!Poor old Dad and Mom are about to really lose control of LIFE as it has been for thirteen and a half years of marriage.You two need to take notes, take pictures,and buy the best pair of the grippiest gloves you can afford and HOLD ON!!!Because your fixxing to be put one HELL of a Roller Coaster Ride and when Reece gets off the ride 18 years later you two are going to look at each other after(catching your breath)and give each other looks and wander what just happened and where did we just go?? And what happened to my hair! Here's my advise,Take each day on ONE at a time,Thank GOD for each day you wake up,Smile and Laugh a lot, Hug each other and tell each other-"I LOVE YOU!"

Judith said...

"Where God guides, He provides". He has guided you to this place in your life and He will provide you with the "knowledge","patience"and LONGSUFFERING you will need to rear this child in the right way she should go! Patience comes from being tried, and you may be tried at times, so definitely don't pray for patience, just accept it when it comes your way. When you first lay eyes on that little girl, all the worry, anticipation that you have now, will go away and it becomes a reality. There have been times when I think that a good swat on the behind didn't hurt me and my personality wasn't warped by it, (well, not much anyway), so it couldn't hurt the ones we've been blessed with either. Like Papa 2.0 said, just hang on, cover her and yourselves in LOVE, and PRAYER, and you'll get through. It is the experience of a life time and I'm so glad that you all didn't pass on this experience! You have been given a blessing, the blessing of life. Handle it with care, and handle it with prayer. Laugh through the good times, and don't sweat the small stuff. We love you and will be there if you need us..